In three months my darling daughter has gone from this sleepy blob to an interactive baby. I love the more interactive version but there are some of her first weeks behaviors that i miss so much and I really wish I could go back and have a few more moments with them, or could have paused them the first time around to take picture, sear them into my memory and relish in their wonderfulness for just a little bit longer.
In no paticular order here they are
1. Non swaddled sleeping: When she was first born you could practically slump her on your chest and she'd go right to sleep, no swaddle no bouncy ball and if she could convince you no shirt. She would sleep right against us for hours all snuggled. Now a days it's a swaddled, exercise ball, patting, white noise experience. Oh how I long for those easy days and the super close feeling of nothing between us and our baby.
2. Newborn cries: newborn cries and very distinctive; they are quiet and squeeky, almost as if their lungs are incapable of making alot of noise. Those cries melt your heart and have you running a mile in 2 seconds flat to stop them. You can't really tell them apart and you haven't figured out meaning between them but all you know is you would sell your should to the devil himself to make them stop.
Now a days she cries like a baby. The cries are varied with a variety of meanings. Some of them still break your heart and have you running while others make you annoyed. The half cry telling you this is NOT what I want is my least favorite. And the whiney cry telling you to keep feeding me I find the cutest. But the cries when she gets hurt- the cry that begins silent and then is shreaky is still the one that gets me every time and just thinking about it makes me want to do anything to stop it.
3. Tiny hands: I miss her tiny hands. They were so little and itty bitty. Her hands are still small, she is just a little baby but i miss the incredible smallness of them when she was born. I am SO SO SO happy we have impressions of her hands and feet done because even now I look at that plaque and thing but they were so small. I believe this feeling will only get stronger and her hands grow further and further from those tiny hands of her first few days.
4. Milk Drunks. Those first few weeks were the best feeding her. Before the spitting up started and the screaming to be fed now and the looking all around during feeding taking my nipple with her (OUCH!!!) was heaven. The best part though was the end of the feeding. You would sit her up to burn her and she would just fall over all eyes half closed with this sleepy almost drunk look on her face as if to say," Definitely the best thing I've ever had." That face makes all the struggles of the first weeks of breast feeding more than worth it
5. Stretch Face. This is the thing I miss the most. The thing I would give anything for to get again and the thing I kick myself the most for not taking any really good pictures of. This si what stretch face is. When she was first born multiple times a day she would put her hands near her face and stretch her face and arms back. Her forehead would be scrunched up and her eyes would get all half closed. She would ball her fists up and it was the CUTEST thing ever. I called it her BIG STRETCHIES (in my best baby voice) and Jordan hated it but I couldn't help it was just the best thing I had ever saw. She still stretches every morning when I unswaddle her but now her arms and legs move better and they stretch all the way out like a kid not a tiny little cherub.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE all the things she does now and relish in them but there are things I miss so much about those first few weeks. Things I would do anything to get another chance to watch and soak up. Everyone told me it would go by too fast but I didn't realize how fast it would go and how much your heart would jump at each new milestone but also break that it meant the ending of other wonderful things. She's only 12 weeks old and already I want so bad to pause things and just relish in this stage for a little longer.
In the end it just makes me want a pause button that much more.
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